I lost a number of close family members - grandaunt, uncle, friend. I reflected on my reliance on the members of immediate circle of society within my reach, nuclear and extended family in particular, on how I can stay connected with them to provide them supports and helps when they're in need, as well as how I can engage them when I in turn needs help. It is definitely a type of relationship that is transactional.
I also could not help but to always, passively or actively, envision my future. I for one am fortunate to be able to work from the comfort of my bedroom. That allows for me skipping commutes, not paying for rents, transportations, and meals, and being saved from the holiday and festive traffic. One could argue it comes with a price - not expanding network through physical connections, missing out on friends meet ups, lavish career opportunities, seminar and conferences, 'entertainment' - and they are right. These 'perks' are mainly concentrated in the highly densely populated urban areas. As for this country, such area is in the city being the hub of everything, that is KL, which is at least 5-hour drive away from my hometown.
I reflect on that, and make peace with having to bear the cost in order to enjoy the fortunes. After all, that is what life is all about. We win some. We lose some.
Looking back, this has unexpectedly led me to a peaceful state of mind with an unbound future. I loosely plan, but not to the minute details of every single event. I know that in my old age, I want to stay close to my people, the people from my hometown who embrace the same life I would like to enjoy, that is, peaceful suburban life in contrast to the hustle of the city. I want to stay close to the community who knows who my parents are, who my grandparents are, and who I am, too. Talk about taking advantage of the generational privileges. (A whole lot more to unpack there. For simplification, privilege here does not equal to 'that' privilege of the white oppressors. We are not talking about generational wealth kinda privilege here). I want to live in a town where everything is accessible within less than 30 minutes - hospital, schools, universities, parks, and yes, sure, entertainment. These are my version of calculated risks, and I am fully aware of the losses. One additional monetary con: land price is jacked up real high here. Food too.
2023 started with me joining a new department at my workplace, as the previous team I was in was disbanded i.e. laid off. It has been a journey - to start over, to ramp up, to learn. I am forever grateful for the wonderful new colleagues I have, despite of us only communicating virtually throughout this year. Their support made it possible for me to pick up the pace and thrive in this new role. One year in now.
I am conflicted to be working in corporations where they directly affiliate themselves with the ethnostate. They have offices and plants built on formerly Palestinian villages of which the villagers were all displaced. I am taking my time to learn more about the ethics and religious guidelines behind earning/serving at a workforce of such nature. This is another case of you win some, you loss some. Win: financial stability, prestige (maybe). Loss: my beliefs and values.
2023 is full of small wins, now that I look back at it, that contribute to my personal growth throughout the year a whole. Let me try to list them down, as I am getting fatigued of writing in paragraphs and full sentences.
- I passed Korean Level 1 with flying colors! Midterm - 95.85% (A+). Final - 98.67% (A+), and overall 97.68% (A+)! I excel on paper only. In real life, my Hangeul reading is still in beginner level. But that is how the world works, right? They only see what you have on paper! I will highly recommend this class to alllllll the people I know that would like to learn Korean from 0. It is organized by a group of Malaysia students who graduated from universities in South Korea, with super affordable tuition fees, and super engaging instructors. I was always interested to learn Korean, but I found that self-learning is suuuuupeeeer difficult for me. I needed a structure and real-time guidance, and that was when I found out about this course offered by an academy and immediately enrolled. If there is anyone at all who is reading this and interested to learn Korean, enroll with them here or https://academy.hazelease.com/ . Use my referral code: KR2206-1802 and you will get RM10 off on your first month of tuition fee! All in for level 2 Korean for 2024!
- For some reason, I just love teaching. I, however, despise our education system, especially the current one. For 2023, I volunteered with a local organization here, as a tutor for primary school students for English. This is a continuation from 2022. It was an eye-opening experience for me to get a first-hand experience on how terrible the system is, especially with the abolishment of UPSR and PMR. I could not wrap my head around the fact that 10- and 11-year-old who do not know the months of the year, even in Bahasa Melayu. They do not even remember their birthday! The overly dramatic side of me brought this to the attention of my mother, who has been an educator for 28 years - and her reply was: "That was not shocking nowadays. Covid-19 outbreak which led to the implementation of virtual classes at all level, topped with the abolishment of two major level exams, further exacerbated by the disparity between the student's family income level have started to exhibit the consequences. I am praying, praying hard for a prosperous future of our nation, come 10 years down the road.
- 2022 was when I created a tiktok account focusing on Math SPM. Through this account, I engage with SPM students to share the solution for math problems via videos and more frequently now, live sessions. This year, under the same brand name, I have been publishing more YouTube videos as well to keep the channel active and eventually built up. Anyone can find the solution to SPM Math Trial papers. For the time being, my focus is on multiple choice questions, as I do not have enough supplies at the moment to record tutorials for subjective questions. It went from 30+ to now 170+ subscribers. It used to be quite a hassle previously when I restricted myself only have a 30-min videos max published to solve 40 questions. The way I would do it was I would screen record the solution only, without narration. Then, I recorded the voice over of the screen recorded video using my phone, then transferred that audio back to pc, and imported both video and audio to a video editing tool, did some tweaking here and there - increased the playback speed, ensured the right pace so that the audio matched the video, all to ensure that I did not go over 30 minutes. It was only recently that I found a super simple solution to this laborious process - to screen record and narrate using PowerPoint! There is a Record feature on ppt! I just need to set up my writing board and headset, and off I go to record and narrate at the same time. Once the recording is completed, I simply export the ppt as video, save it as mp3, and ready for upload. Just like math, the solution to your problem may not be as complicated as you think it is. When you thought it would take 10 steps of a process, look a little closer. Maybe the solution requires only 3 steps.
- Another tutoring volunteer I signed up for was to guide one SPM student in Math. I signed up through another organization where they recruited low-performing students in Math to match with the volunteering tutors on a 1-on-1 basis. My student is based in Putrajaya, and we have been communicating virtually since Oct'23. She did so well that her score improved from 30%+ in midterm to 60%+ in trial! How wonderful is that! Side track a bit, I received a number of requests for paid Math tutoring, which I eventually rejected. Reason being is that I just do not feel adequate enough to be paid just yet (again) to teach.
- These are the books that I recall reading this year. I should track my reading this year!
- MLK Autobiography
- Ten Myths of Israel
- Palestine Speaks
2024 will be a year for the family - two siblings are graduating.
I also made mental notes and shared these plans with a couple friends on what I look forward to in the upcoming few years:
- Pursue my studies in clic psych
- work abroad
- apply for temp teaching post
because yolo.
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