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Saturday, January 21, 2017

Late Night Thoughts

I'll turn 20 in less than 7 months.
I pray that I could transfer to the university for Fall 2017 admission. Ameen. Pray for me too people.

And now that I'm turning 20, I surely do realize how I've been growing, emotionally, physically obviously, my spiritual journey, especially throughout these two years since I've been in the college in the US. Away from the family. Away from everyone else but whoever I have to spend at least my 2 years with.

Growing older, tho some might say, alah 20 ni mentah lagi jangan gelabah sangat pls, I'd say, please, I pray that you'll grow up some more.

There's more of
"No, you can't do that"
"That's not how things work"
"Filter your words!"
"Mind your actions"
"Be grateful. Tho you're only left with $0.00 in your account, at least you still have a shelter. You don't have to ride on a bus in winter tho you have no change for the fare, begging for some, 'cause you're not homeless like that couple sitting in front of you in the bus rn"
"I'll do my way, you keep yours"
"Will this adventurous journey ever sit back and allow us to breathe for even a second?"
"When will I graduate?"
"I need a pHd but no Masters is enough but man Degree alone is tiring as hell"
"Will I have 'enough' time to catch up with Islamic Studies? Sharia'? Sirah? Hukum Hakam?"
"Never bring more trouble to your parents. Never ask for money. Never"
"Read!"
"Talk less"
"Cheer yourself up"
"Keep the circle of friends close"
"Not everyone can 'know' myself that deep, leave alone my family. Only the selected fews will"
"What's the purpose of life again?"
"Will I ever have any savings afterwards?"

TOO MUCH WORRIES, QUESTIONS, DOUBTS. There's more. I'm lazy. OH AND LAZINESS, AND BOREDOM.

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